Big day for Pakistan – A Non state Actor gets Oscar Nomination!

Entire Pakistan went into jubilant mood. It’s a riot of lights and sound all over Karachi and Baluchistan albeit mostly caused by routine arson and bomb blasts in sectarian violence.

Kulbulawal Khan, a part time terrorist and noted historian of Pakistan was overjoyed, “In such a long history of Pakistan that goes back to the ages before dinosaurs, today is the first time that the country is getting such attention. So far the only other significant event for Pakistan was when fanatic Hindus took away India from it.”

“After all, for a restricted society like that of Pakistan it is like a flower blooming in desert. And god willing our actor achieved this feat without any kind of exposing or nudity, God is great and so am I.” said a local Imam. Though, he himself being a signatory on a fatwa banning movies he does not know the name of the actor who has got such a huge appreciation. But the proud was very much visible on his face. Some on the street also expressed ignorance of the actor saying that they don’t watch Pashto Porn.

On the other hand the prominent strategist Zaid Hamid criticized the happening and warned the citizens that it is a western ploy, a gimmick generated by God blessed Americans, chosen ones Israelis, UK and the Hindu Zionists. “They are trying to weaken us by luring our youth with such awards. But they won’t succeed because just like me god is also great” He said.

Imran khan demanded an immediate disclosure of the name of the movie and the actor who won such an appreciation for Pakistan. “Pakistan’s name keeps propping up only for wrong reasons, so this was such a wonderful thing to happen and hence we must celebrate our national hero.” Inzmaam ul Haq too tried saying something but English being too ashamed to come out; got entangled in his beard and we could not understand what he was trying to tell about “oh sucker’ nomination.

“Since he is a non-state actor, we as per our policy, do not know the name and the address of the said Actor, however we have issued couple of valid Pakistani passports to him to enable him to go and collect the prize in case he wins. And yes we have definite information that he was NOT trained by MNTA (Mushafarri Nautanki & Tamasha Academy)” said Heena Rabbani.

In India, PMO released a statement stating that as we as a nation are used to get kicked around, a weaker Pakistan is not in our interest. We need a strong and stable Pakistan who can kick us around like another strong and stable neighbor China. But one thing is for sure, whenever he wants, Rahul ji can become PM of India.

Since the secrecy remained around the name of the Actor, several well known people like Hafiz Said, Majid Memon, Dawood and millions unknown too, seen busy making or buying passports and packing their stuff for the award ceremony while in Washington all the other countries were busy discussing the air strikes on Pakistan.


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